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Recognizing the signs of domestic violence
Recognizing the Signs of Domestic Violence
1. Controlling Behavior
The abuser might dictate what the victim wears, who they talk to, or where they go. They may
insist on having full control over finances, denying the victim access to money, credit cards, or
bank accounts. The goal is often to make the victim entirely dependent on the abuser.
2. Constant Criticism and Blame
Verbal abuse can take the form of constant put-downs, name-calling, or belittling the victim’s
accomplishments, appearance, or abilities. The abuser may also shift blame for their actions,
saying things like, “If you hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have gotten angry.”
3. Unexplained Injuries
Victims may have bruises, cuts, burns, or other injuries they can’t convincingly explain. They
might avoid eye contact or wear long sleeves and heavy clothing to cover signs of physical
abuse, even in warm weather.
4. Intense Jealousy:
Jealousy may be masked as concern, with statements like, “I just love you too much.” However,
it can escalate to accusations of cheating, constant checking of the victim’s phone or social
media, and even stalking behaviors.
5. Fear of Partner:
Victims might flinch, seem overly cautious, or act nervous when their partner is present. They
may try to avoid actions or topics that could trigger anger, showing a constant sense of dread.
6. Limiting Access to Resources
Abusers may prevent victims from working, pursuing education, or maintaining relationships
outside the home. They might withhold transportation, deny access to phones or the internet, or
use tactics to ensure the victim is isolated
7. Threats and Intimidation
Threats can include harm to the victim, their children, pets, or loved ones. The abuser might
also threaten to report the victim to authorities, such as immigration or child protective services,
to instill fear.
8. Destruction of Property
Breaking furniture, smashing phones, or tearing up important documents are common tactics to
intimidate or punish the victim. This behavior signals a lack of respect for boundaries and an
intent to instill fear.
9. Sudden Behavioral Changes
Victims may withdraw from social activities, display signs of depression, or have difficulty
concentrating. They may become overly apologetic or seem to make excuses for their partner’s
behavior, avoiding discussions about their personal life.
10. Physical Violence
This includes actions like hitting, slapping, choking, pushing, or using weapons. It can also
include less obvious physical acts like preventing the victim from eating, sleeping, or seeking
medical care. Over time, the severity of violence often escalates.
If you suspect someone is experiencing domestic abuse, here are practical steps to offer help:
Approach with Care and Sensitivity
Listen and Validate
Avoid Confronting the Abuser
Offer Resources and Support
Respect Their Autonomy
Help with Safety Planning
Be Patient and Persistent
Encourage Professional Help
Protect Confidentiality
Take Care of Yourself
Would you like further guidance on any of these steps?
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